What I need is a complete
personality overhaul. Whether because I’m naturally cynical and difficult, or
because outside factors have shaped me to be that way, I can’t rightly tell.
But I do know that things need to somehow change. I think people should always
be studying themselves, reshaping and critiquing and expanding on spiritual,
physical, and most importantly, moral grounds. So where is the best place to
start, now that I’ve proclaimed this? With myself. I want to wake each morning,
and think ‘you are new again. This day defines you.’ The difficult thing is
going to be setting the parametres for this new personality. What kind of a
being have I been? What am I? Above all, what would I like to be? I have so, so
many ideas for the latter one, less so for the other two. I’ve gone through
life so far with very little thought. Things happen, situations change along
with the times. It’s hard to pick out a point in life and say, ‘this is who I
was here’, because every stage of it remains with you. The waters are muddy and
I’d like them to clear. Don’t worry. This will be my last mushy, wishy-washy
post for a very long while.
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