Thoughts on the Cycles of Comparison and Judgment

The ‘youths’ of today are enculturated to make comparisons. Don’t shake your head at me. You do it too. Everyone makes comparisons. It is inescapable, especially in a media-driven society such as ours. Holding yourself to your own standards is already difficult and near-impossible. Add to that the pressure of trying to comply with everyone else’s standards as well, and you might never be happy. This is my hypothesis: if we stop comparing ourselves to every living thing that walks up to us, we will be more content. (And by the way, for every person who has a skill that you admire, you’ve probably got one that they admire, too. You just can’t think of it because you’re so preoccupied with frustration and envy.)

I got a college flyer in the mail today which read: ‘It’s about being the first. The only. The best.’

It made my blood boil.

Let us stand back and look at this a moment. Are you really going into a field in which you’ll be in the top 2% of geniuses who make it big in the ‘real world’? Are you going to become famous or renowned instantaneously, like J.K. Rowling or (god forbid) Taylor Swift? Is that a realistic expectation?

Because I can guarantee (unless you are VERY unique) for every one person we hear about in the headlines making it big, there are at least a million people out there who aren’t. Some people just have the friends, make the connections, are in the right place at the right time.

Chances are, you are not going to be ‘the first, the only, the best’ in whatever you are doing. The only sane course of action is to strive for what YOU want. Sure, maybe there will be a lucky break or a pleasant happening. But always hoping for something in the future or thinking that a cataclysmic event is in store doesn’t help any process.

In conclusion:

•            I don’t want to be the first, the best, the only in anything. I just want to be happy.
•      Being first, only, and best is NOT the goal of life. The goal of life is to collaborate, to support our fellow humans, to be immersed in what we care about and pursue it tirelessly and guiltlessly. The goal of life is to want the best for each other. You’re cool. I’m cool. End of subject. Move on.
•           Try to be content in your own little world, doing your own things, the things that are important to you, even if others don’t understand why.
•          Comparisons are terrible, terrible things to make. So stop making them and break the vicious cycle.