Thoughts on the Cycles of Comparison and Judgment

The ‘youths’ of today are enculturated to make comparisons. Don’t shake your head at me. You do it too. Everyone makes comparisons. It is inescapable, especially in a media-driven society such as ours. Holding yourself to your own standards is already difficult and near-impossible. Add to that the pressure of trying to comply with everyone else’s standards as well, and you might never be happy. This is my hypothesis: if we stop comparing ourselves to every living thing that walks up to us, we will be more content. (And by the way, for every person who has a skill that you admire, you’ve probably got one that they admire, too. You just can’t think of it because you’re so preoccupied with frustration and envy.)

I got a college flyer in the mail today which read: ‘It’s about being the first. The only. The best.’

It made my blood boil.

Let us stand back and look at this a moment. Are you really going into a field in which you’ll be in the top 2% of geniuses who make it big in the ‘real world’? Are you going to become famous or renowned instantaneously, like J.K. Rowling or (god forbid) Taylor Swift? Is that a realistic expectation?

Because I can guarantee (unless you are VERY unique) for every one person we hear about in the headlines making it big, there are at least a million people out there who aren’t. Some people just have the friends, make the connections, are in the right place at the right time.

Chances are, you are not going to be ‘the first, the only, the best’ in whatever you are doing. The only sane course of action is to strive for what YOU want. Sure, maybe there will be a lucky break or a pleasant happening. But always hoping for something in the future or thinking that a cataclysmic event is in store doesn’t help any process.

In conclusion:

•            I don’t want to be the first, the best, the only in anything. I just want to be happy.
•      Being first, only, and best is NOT the goal of life. The goal of life is to collaborate, to support our fellow humans, to be immersed in what we care about and pursue it tirelessly and guiltlessly. The goal of life is to want the best for each other. You’re cool. I’m cool. End of subject. Move on.
•           Try to be content in your own little world, doing your own things, the things that are important to you, even if others don’t understand why.
•          Comparisons are terrible, terrible things to make. So stop making them and break the vicious cycle.

Feminism

Well, it’s been over a year since I last posted! Things have been busy. And it doesn’t look like there’s been a good rant on here for ages, either. Let’s fix that now.

There’s a lot circulating about feminism and what it actually means. All sides have something to shout at the top of their lungs, and I thought I’d add my opinions to the cacophony.

The actual meaning of feminism is dissolving. This is due in part to some factions of extreme feminists making everything more dramatic than it needs to be. But it is also due to the fact that humans love to categorize and generalize. The natural human condition is to simply throw one’s lot in with whatever resonates most. Not to step back, steady our selves, and promote a relativist look at things. What other creature on earth is so adept at deceiving itself? We create biases, and base opinions on those biases quickly. So, while people are busy taking sides and fussing, they fail to realize that we are arguing a simple matter of human rights. Man, woman, it doesn’t matter which you are, or if you’re somewhere on the spectrum in between. Both sides should be free from judgment and stereotype.

The definition of feminism is simply: “the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.” Not pointing fingers at men or putting them down or refusing to accept their help or saying, “we’d all be better off without you lot.” There are great men, and there are men who need to be enlightened. There are great women, and there are women who need to be enlightened. There’s a happy medium for everything, and it just hasn’t been discovered over the course of this conflict. Yet.

I do wonder if the word feminism can be brought back, because sometimes words become so toxic that we should let them go.

And, keeping with tradition and disregarding everything I’ve just said above, here comes the mini rant.

(Let us here note for perspective’s sake that you can dress however you want, but I personally am pretty darn conservatively minded when it comes to public modesty).

I possess a relatively unbiased opinion because I think most men are awesome BUT I have also experienced a fair share of leering and it makes me want to yell and punch things. Maybe even those men. But not all men! Generalization is the devil incarnate when it comes to political, racial, or religious issues. Actually, scratch that. ALL issues, ever.

I understand that given whatever situation-terrible role models, rough childhood, crappy high school romances, whatever-people are going to have emotional discrepancies or scarring. In the cases where men are total butts to women, there’s probably a backstory there. The problem is lack of awareness and education from an early age. The solution? I have no idea. Hate is often an easier emotion to conjure up than compassion, and changing people who are set in their ways is sometimes impossible.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that all the men in these hypothetical situations are complete stalkers, because there is a definite grey area between  “well that was blatantly creepy”  and “I feel like he was giving me a look but maybe it’s just my imagination, but then again I definitely got a creeper vibe…am I paranoid?” All it means is that some guys never had the experience of earning the right to call a woman beautiful. And that’s sad. They should go construct a proper relationship and learn from it.  

Dress Reconstruction photos

Nearly there! Hopefully some pictures of it modeled next. 20 hours so far. I'm ridiculously proud of this thing, especially the waist.
The fabric is filmy and very sensitive to pin marks, basting, excessive fiddling, etc, so this has certainly been a learning experience. Usually I don't make things out of fabric so wimpy, but it has a nice drape to it and the pattern is pretty. Sometime I'll make another version of this dress in sturdy, thicker material like cotton or linen or maybe even a knit weave.

Remake No.1-floral 1940s dress

I've been logging serious hours (with occasional tea breaks) remaking a dress from the 1930s or 40s. The original (at left) is a nice cotton house dress, practical and sophisticated; handmade, perhaps even in my hometown. A very kind lady offered to lend me a dress form, which is another learning curve (literally) all in itself.
I've been photo documenting, taking notes, and drawing sketches along the way, but  it's quite a lot, so I'm only putting a couple of photos on here.

I'm not really considering this as a career choice or anything, but I do get very absorbed in it and the possibilities are endless. Sewing your own clothes is something that's just not done anymore, but I think it should be something everyone knows how to do. I'll keep the finished dress secret until it's...well, finished.

New Wrap Skirt

I made a skirt for myself today. This following draft is mostly for my usage, so if you do your own be sure to take your precise measurements!
   Measurements needed: a couple inches above natural waistline, hips
   Suggested fabrics (these are my dream fabric choices for this project. I may make it again if they're found!): bold rose print for base, navy blue/bright blue for waistband.
   Other notes: Length can be varied. This pattern has been constructed to sit on either the hips or the upper natural waistline. Have fun with designing your own waistband or, in this, cut one with a 3"peak that tapers to 1 1/2" at hips and back. (Meas. are before allowing for seam allowances).
My approach to sewing has kind of become THERE ARE NO RULES! Try to make: straight lines straight, curved lines curved, etc etc.) Double parentheses are suggested stitch length settings, but this also varies with fabric thickness, so determine that yourself.

1. Cut a 64" long, 18" tall piece of fabric. Hem LH edge inward about 5/8ths and sew along that, leaving 1" free at top of skirt. Cut thread.

     2. Starting at this point, sew ((@3 1/2)) with medium stitches, without backstitching, all along top, stopping 1" from end. Cut thread. Ruffle the skirt by pulling gently on one thread and moving the fabric evenly along. Distribute flounce and determine overlap on LH side of skirt. (You could do fun things like make the flounce concentrated on the hips, on the back, in only 4 areas, etc. Just make sure that during the next step you adjust the size of the stitch as you go over these thicker sections). Mark overlap (should be centred over hip), leaving about 1 1/2" to hem later. (It's a good idea to have the fabric that's folding under do so by about 9/10". This will place the underlapping edge in the front. Also it's a good idea to keep those 9" less ruffled than the rest of the skirt so it sits better).
     3. Lay waistband--I used two different fabrics (actually one was blanket binder), but one would be simpler--and skirt top right sides together. Pin and sew ((@2)) with medium-small stitches, taking care to sew below original gather thread. Cut thread. Carefully trim excess bunchiness from seams at waistband.

     4. Either tack down the shape you want for the waistband, folding the fabric over and giving a stiffer band, OR trim in that shape. Either way, slipstitch the edge in place by hand. Iron if necessary.
     5. Remember the 1 1/2" you left at the overlap edge? (Highlighted above in green). Turn it in nicely now, again using slipstitch. Remember, 1 or 2 threads at a time, check often. Also turn in this side of the waistband neatly. Do what you want with the waistband that will be hidden, but try to make it as flat as possible, turning it in neatly too.
     6. Position the skirt how you'd like it to sit. Pick out a button/buttons. Mark for buttonhole(s) and button placement with pins. Sew on and then carefully cut buttonhole using X-acto knife, fabric cutter, etc. Bind using one of these methods, depending on fabric: coletterie.com/tutorials-tips-tricks/handmade-buttonholes
Using a small hook and eye, secure underlapping waistband to outer waistband. Hem bottom of skirt, use bias tape, or put an edge or lace on it. Better pictures later. Haven't hemmed yet.

September Tidings

There has been a lot happening lately. I'm headed out to the West Coast for 10 months, which means wrapping a lot up before that (October 9th!) departure. There's been music and gardening and family; animals, packing and panicking.
  About two months ago I started making little felted hair fascinators: plus.google.com/photos/109340179484608660365/albums/5924609850214898577?banner=pwa
They are available for sale if anyone wishes to contact me: thewellnewspaper@gmail.com (a set is $7/8/9, singles $4/5, tri-ornaments $9). Prices still being worked out. Negotiable. Bartering welcome.
There's also been work on:
a copy of a windmill painting
and
a sleeveless peasant bodice
(both of which will be photo-documented soon).
There is a youtube channel where I'll be putting things up sporadically: www.youtube.com/channel/UCWuVpsSw0tPi_BfNdm-KMdg
And of course there's still itsfunnierfirsthand.blogspot.com with an archive of rather confounding comics that only I understand!
Bonus toad picture:

We finally have toads hiding in our gardens again.  I actually had time to find my camera, traipse back out, and photograph this guy. He really thought I couldn't see him.

Quote No.24

“If you can find money to kill people you can find money to help people.”~Tony Benn 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Benn
A fantastic British gentleman (with the usual lengthy collection of first names). If you have not yet heard of this dignified person, PLEASE check him out. He's a capital human being with lots to say and plenty of wisdom for today's masses. I could listen to his voice all day. It has that tweed-jacket, pipe-smoking English garble that brings to mind misty mornings and dusty, well-worn books.
     Listen while you wash dishes, drink tea, sweep, etc. Not a sit down video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBsaQ5ltcK8